Mudita – Ed e Dep Shapiro
mudita – definition and meaning – Wordnik
www.wordnik.com/words/mudita
Examples
- In Buddhism this is called mudita, also known as sympathetic joy or deep gladness.
Ed Shapiro: Chill Out:Finding Joy In Other People’s Happiness
- As mudita takes root, so we genuinely wish others well.
Ed and Deb Shapiro: Why Do We Feel Good Making Fun of Others?
- As mudita takes root, so we genuinely wish others be well.
Ed and Deb Shapiro: Why Only A Loser Would Want Someone To Fail
- First, I tried mudita practice-cultivating joy in the joy of those who were at the celebration.
- Fournier discovered that her sister’s smooch was a lesson in the Buddhist teachings of mudita, the concept of taking joy in someone else’s happiness.
- I teach yoga and try to introduce the concept of mudita as often as possible.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro: Why Only A Loser Would Want Someone To Fail
- “The heartfelt feeling is mudita – that’s what the
February 3, 2014
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Chill Out:Finding Joy In Other People’s Happiness
Posted: 09/22/08 10:52 AM ET
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As a teenager in the Bronx I won the NYC dance championship. I had come third in my borough before winning the City. I also won my College dance championship and won a competition on a TV dance show. Winning got in my blood; I loved the feeling of being a winner. Coming from New York there is a natural tendency to have this me-first attitude. I was born into a lower middle class background, my father worked for the post office. I never felt I had enough so winning gave me a huge boost.
Things began to shift when I met teachers, such as the Yoga Master Swami Satchidananda and the Dalai Lama. They taught me that there is no real payoff being selfish, that selflessness brings you more happiness and is far more fulfilling than selfishness. That taking joy in other people’s happiness is really where it’s at. It’s amazing how it truly makes you happier.
In Buddhism this is called mudita, also known as sympathetic joy or deep gladness. This is a special form of joy as it responds to all things good, as seen in your enjoyment of someone else’s good fortune, or when another’s happiness makes you happy.
Now, in essence, feeling joyful for another’s joy sounds very easy. But someone else’s good fortune may be at the expense of yours–they got the job and you didn’t. Can you still be happy for them then? Or it may make you feel less than, unworthy, unattractive. Can we actually feel joy for another person’s good fortune when we are jealous of them?
Mudita makes us look at those places that are wrapped up in ego, such as jealousy, envy, judgment and comparison. It is fairly easy to see how jealousy isn’t going to get us anywhere other than into further pain and suffering; it takes us out of the present and we get lost in the future, in the ‘what if’. Feeling envious of another’s success or beauty is based on the superficial conditions of life, not the deeper reality of unconditional happiness.
Yet how often do we wish someone does not succeed, as their success simply highlights our own sense of failure? Mudita shows us how we project onto others that they have that special something that we think we are missing.
Judgment serves the ego, making someone else appear wrong, lucky or unlucky. Notice how you tend to do this, to judge people who think differently from you or look different; notice when you compare yourself to those who have more or less than you, how this either makes you think you are better or just feeds your unworthiness.
Mudita asks that we let go of jealousy and judgment by seeing the other as ourself, seeing the inter-connectedness between all beings, and seeing the bigger picture. It means letting go of fixed patterns of thinking so that you can genuinely wish happiness and joy for others.
You actually want them to be happy! You want them to be free from suffering. Your happiness and their happiness are no different. You experience a deep gladness that they are happy.
A daily practice I use is a visualization where I focus on a person I may be having difficulty with, or someone I may be in competition with or jealous of. I picture them in my heart and I say: “May they be well! May they be happy! May all things go well for them!” This has changed my life.
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Ed is an author, meditation and yoga teacher and spiritual counselor.
Read more at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
Contact Ed at: Ed@EdandDebShapiro.com
Yoga, Meditation, Yoga Nidra & Bodymind Experts, Award-winning authors of BE THE CHANGE foreword by HH the Dalai Lama & YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Hosts: GOING OUT OF YOUR MIND- VividLife Radio, Featured bloggers Oprah.com
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Why Do We Feel Good Making Fun of Others?
Posted: 10/19/10 09:25 AM ET
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diggredditstumbleNineteen year-old Tyler Clementi recently committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate and a friend secretly videotaped him having gay sex and put it out on the internet. Similarly, two men and a woman videoed themselves enthusiastically laughing as they beat up an old man. We may not always agree with others, but why do we need to cause them suffering? Why do we think it’s funny to put down, hurt or even abuse another person?
Children giggle when another child falls down; when the opposition team wins we call them nasty names; when someone is bloodily beat up in a boxing match people shout for more. America’s Funniest Home Videos is full of images of people falling, crashing, making mistakes, and the resounding laughter that accompanies them. For instance, the ABC website highlights a bride’s veil that catches fire. Why do we find this so amusing?
In the political arena constant put-downs are normal. Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly said he wants President Obama to fail, as well as his administration and its agenda for economic and health care reform: “If Obama fails, America is saved.”
We attack others in order to feel good, or at least belittle someone as a way of making ourselves look better; finding fault or putting them down makes us feel superior. This tends to happen more when we are down ourselves, as misery loves company; feel bad yourself and you invariably find fault in others.
You would think that as healthy human beings we would be concerned about another’s good fortune and happy to respect their preferences and choices. When we have a genuine regard for ourselves we naturally extend that by wishing others success. Mudita is a Sanskrit term meaning “sympathetic joy,” or taking joy in other people’s happiness and well-being.
Now, in essence, this sounds very easy and obvious — feeling joyful for another’s joy — but someone else’s good fortune may be at the expense of our own (they got the job but we didn’t) so can we still be happy for them? It may highlight our own lack of good fortune, or challenge our self-worth and value. In other words, taking joy in someone you may have a negative feeling toward certainly does not happen overnight!
Mudita confronts us with those places that are wrapped up in our ego, such as jealousy, envy, judgment and greed. Jealousy isn’t going to get us anywhere other than into further pain and suffering, but how often do we wish that someone does not succeed because their success highlights our own sense of failure?
We judge others in comparison with our own beliefs and preferences, but we can respect their choices, even if they are different to our own. Greed and self-centeredness take us out of the present and stop us from appreciating what we have right now.
Mudita asks that we let go of envy and comparison by seeing the other as ourselves, that there is no difference: we all experience the human condition, we breathe the same air, and we all want to be happy. Releasing judgment means stepping outside of our limited view and letting go of fixed and predictable patterns of thinking and behaving.
As mudita takes root, so we genuinely wish others well. We actually want them to be happy! It makes us feel good. We want them to be free from suffering and to succeed at whatever they do. We recognize that our happiness and their happiness are no different and so we experience a deep joy in their well-being.
Have you ever put someone down in order to feel better? Can you take joy in someone else’s success? Do comment below.
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Why Only A Loser Would Want Someone To Fail
Posted: 04/02/09 09:29 AM ET
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We may not always agree with others, but why would we want them to fail? What makes us want to put someone down? There must be another way!
Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly said he wants President Obama to fail, as well as his administration and its agendas for economic and healthcare reform. Yesterday, Limbaugh had the audacity to warn the British Prime Minister that if he keeps “slobbering” over President Obama, he will “come down with anal poisoning and may die from it.” This past Monday he said, “If Obama fails, America is saved.”
Limbaugh has also ridiculed the work of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He has insulted her, called her a mannish lesbian, and said: “The scary thing is that she is TWICE the man Obama is.”
There are times when we may need to release our frustration at such mistaken views, and using humor is one of the best ways. The DNC attempted to do this when they rolled out its anti-Limbaugh billboard.
Meanwhile, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) is calling for a revolution and warning against the imminent dangers of tyranny under Barack Obama. Sean Hannity agreed with her: “You are not overstating this case, Congresswoman… And I can tell you, all around this country, on 535 of the best radio stations in this country, people are saying “Amen,” “Hallelujah,” “Where have you been?”
(We noted that tyranny means the cruel use of power, an oppressive government, and absolute power vested in a single ruler. Do you think it’s possible Bachmann was confused and actually talking about the last administration?)
Former Vice President Dick Cheney uses fear tactics to scare and confuse people and make it appear that Obama is failing. Yet on CNN Sunday, General David Petraeus rejected Cheney’s recent comments and said the US is no less safe under Obama.
Such blatant disregard for the people’s choice of president, combined with the feverish desire that Obama and his policies fail–even though if they do, as Limbaugh mistakenly wants, then we all suffer–can only come from the voices of those who have already failed themselves.
When people are stuck in a negative mindset then they need to attack others in order to feel good. Only when we are down ourselves do we want to drag others down with us. Misery loves company, as it is lonely on its own. Hate breeds hate: hate yourself and you invariably want to find fault in others. Only if we are uncomfortable in our own skin will we want to get under someone else’s.
When we are in a strong and healthy position, with a genuine regard for ourselves, we naturally extend that regard by wishing others succeed; when we feel comfortable with ourselves we will love and respect others.
One of our greatest attributes is the ability to take joy in another’s success. Mudita is a Sanskrit term meaning sympathetic joy, when we feel joy in response to another’s well-being and happiness. It is seeing the good in another person, rather than focusing on what is wrong.
Now, in essence, this sounds very easy and obvious–seeing the good and feeling joyful for another’s joy–but someone else’s good fortune may be at the expense of our own (they got the job but we didn’t–can we still be happy for them?), or may highlight our own lack of good fortune, or challenge our self-worth and value.
Mudita confronts us with those places that are wrapped up in our ego, such as jealousy, envy, judgment and greed. Jealousy isn’t going to get us anywhere other than into further pain and suffering, but how often do we wish someone does not succeed, as their success simply highlights our own sense of failure?
We judge others in comparison to our own beliefs and preferences, but it is possible to respect their choices, even if they are different to our own. Greed and self-centeredness takes us out of the present; it stops us from appreciating what we have and from being present right now.
Mudita asks that we let go of envy and comparison by seeing the other as ourselves, that there is no difference: we all experience the human condition, we breathe the same air, and we all want to be happy. Releasing judgment means stepping outside of our limited view and seeing the inter-connectedness between us all.
As mudita takes root, so we genuinely wish others be well. We actually want them to be happy! We want them to be free from suffering. We want them to succeed at whatever they do. Our happiness and their happiness are no different; we experience a deep joy in their well-being.
So what do you think of people who want someone to fail? Can you take joy in someone else’s success and happiness? Feel free to leave a comment below.
If you would like to receive notices of our columns, simply click on the Become a Fan button at the top. Enjoy your week! See you next Thursday!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro are authors of over 15 books, and lead meditation retreats and workshops. Deb is the author of the award-winning book YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND. Their latest book, BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, with a Message From The Dalai Lama and a foreword by Robert Thurman, will be published in October 2009 by Sterling Ethos. They are corporate consultants, and the creators of Chillout daily inspirational text messages on Sprint cell phones. See their website: www.EdandDebShapiro.com.
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hide captionAuthor Toni Bernhard, who is house-bound and often bed-bound, says she’s learned to cultivate joy through others.
Courtesy of Wisdom Publications
Author Toni Bernhard, who is house-bound and often bed-bound, says she’s learned to cultivate joy through others.
Courtesy of Wisdom Publications
In 2001, I had the next couple of decades of my life mapped out. I’d be teaching law, visiting my children, and attending Buddhist meditation retreats.
Suddenly, everything changed. I got sick with flu-like symptoms. A doctor said it appeared to be an acute viral infection.
I have yet to recover. The infection has left me mostly house-bound and often bed-bound.
For the first few years of being sick, I lived in what I can only describe as a state of shock. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t getting better. When I didn’t recover, I blamed myself. I fell into alternating states of anger, denial and despair.
It took me almost six years to find my way back to a life of fulfillment and joy. The journey started when I looked more deeply at the Buddha’s first noble truth: Everyone’s life has its share of both joy and suffering. Resisting the plain fact of my illness only added mental suffering to the physical suffering.
Toni Bernhard’s Book
How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers
By Toni Bernhard
Paperback, 216 pages
Wisdom Publications
List price: $15.95
Read An Excerpt
And so I got out my well-worn Buddhist books. And I remembered something a teacher had said: “If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is incomplete.” This was a turning point for me. I began to direct compassion towards myself. Slowly but surely, I stopped blaming myself for getting sick.
I also took up a Buddhist practice called mudita: cultivating joy in the joy of others. I hoped it would be an antidote to the painful envy that overcame me when I heard of other people going to family gatherings, or even a movie. I didn’t always succeed. I’d hear of people going to the Mendocino Coast — one of my favorite places — and I’d say, “It’s so nice that they’ll see the ocean.” But I’d be saying it through gritted teeth. I kept working at it, though, and gradually the feeling of joy in other’s joy became genuine. Now when my husband visits our children and grandchildren, I feel as if he’s there for both of us. And so I, too, am filled with joy.
One of the toughest challenges was accepting isolation. At first, my loneliness was palpable. But over time, I came to recognize that the word “isolation” is neutral. It’s just the fact of being alone. I learned to open my heart and mind to being by myself. Now I love watching the seasons unfold right outside my bedroom window. I even appreciate that no one is making demands on my time!
I’ve had to be inventive. Instead of traveling to see my children, I stay close to them by instant messaging and texting. I wasn’t at my son-in-law’s graduation. But I got a text message from my daughter: “He’s crossing the stage right now!”
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I’ve traded the role of teacher for that of student by studying classical music and opera. I particularly love Beethoven’s piano trios. The Archduke is my favorite, partly because it was the last piece he performed as a concert pianist after he became deaf.
It has taken several years — and many tears — to learn how to thrive in my new life. I still have rough days when I wish I could do whatever I want. But really, who can do that anyway?
On the whole, I’m content and at peace with what I can do. Even if it’s from the bed.
Copyright ©2011 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.
STEVE INSKEEP, host:
Commentator Toni Bernhard has been living with a chronic illness for the last 10 years.
TONI BERNHARD (Author, How to Be Sick): In 2001, I had the next couple of decades of my life mapped out. I’d be teaching law, visiting my children, and attending Buddhist meditation retreats.
Suddenly, everything changed. I got sick with flu-like symptoms. A doctor said it appeared to be an acute viral infection.
I have yet to recover. The infection has left me mostly housebound, and often bed-bound.
For the first few years of being sick, I lived in what I can only describe as a state of shock. When I didnt recover, I blamed myself. It took me almost six years to find my way back to a life of fulfillment and joy. The journey started when I looked more deeply at the Buddhas first noble truth: Everyones life has its share of both joy and suffering. Resisting the plain fact of my illness only added mental suffering to the physical suffering.
And I remembered something a teacher had said: If your compassion doesnt include yourself, it is incomplete. This was a turning point for me. Slowly but surely, I stopped blaming myself for getting sick. I also took up a Buddhist practice called mudita: cultivating joy in the joy of others. I hoped it would be an antidote to the painful envy that overcame me when I heard of other people going to family gatherings, or even a movie. I didnt always succeed. I kept working at it, though, and gradually, the feeling of joy in others joy became genuine. Now when my husband visits our children and grandchildren, I feel as if hes there for both of us.
One of the toughest challenges was accepting isolation. But over time, I learned to open my heart and mind to being by myself. Ive had to be inventive. Instead of traveling to see my children, I stay close to them by instant messaging and texting. Ive traded the role of teacher for that of student, by studying classical music and opera.
It has taken several years and many tears to learn how to thrive in my new life. I still have rough days, when I wish I could do whatever I want. But really, who can do that anyway? On the whole, Im content and at peace with what I can do, even if its from the bed.
(Soundbite of music)
INSKEEP: Commentator Toni Bernhard is the author of How to Be Sick.
(Soundbite of music)
INSKEEP: Its MORNING EDITION from NPR News.
Copyright © 2011 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR’s prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.
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Lansing’s Old Town puckered up for the SMOOCH! Project at the Perspective2 Studio, 319 E. Grand River Ave., in Lansing, on Tuesday in an effort to reduce violence through human affection.
The SMOOCH! Project is a documentary record of the human demonstration to willingly share and welcome love and affection with no regard to social, economic or political boundaries, project creator Bonnie Fournier said.
The goal of the project is to show the world that a simple act of affection has the power to transform lives, and Katie Koerner, marketing and outreach manager of Perspective2, said Old Town was a good place to start because of the town’s growing love, community and sense of togetherness.
“One of the goals of the project is to show that even with all their differences, we all are willing to welcome love and affection into their lives,” Koerner said.
Old Town Lansing is the first national photo shoot location for the project outside of Minnesota, where Fournier is from, and locals such as mother and daughter Jackie and Katherine Hawthorne were the first to be photographed.
By Kat Petersen / The State News
Photographer Bonnie Fournier, left, takes a picture of Dewitt residents Ernie and Tina Block for her project, The Smooch! Project, on Tuesday at Perspective2, 319 E. Grand River Ave., in Lansing. Fournier is traveling the nation to reach her goal of photographing 10,000 couples showing affection, from mothers and daughters, to owners and their pets. Lansing was Fournier’s first Michigan stop.
By Kat Petersen / The State News
Photographer Bonnie Fournier, left, shows Dewitt residents David and Mary Swanson a picture of them smooching Tuesday at Perspective2, 319 E. Grand River Ave., in Lansing. Fournier was in town to photograph residents for her project, The Smooch! Project, and to work on her goal of getting 10,000 couples to be documented showing affection in the form of a kiss.
“It’s something out of the ordinary,” Jackie Hawthorne said. “I don’t think it will change the world, but it makes it more fun to live in.”
The project started in 2004 after Fournier, who photographed the day’s kissing, was kissed unexpectedly by her twin sister, Barb, while taking a picture. Fournier discovered that her sister’s smooch was a lesson in the Buddhist teachings of mudita, the concept of taking joy in someone else’s happiness.
“The heartfelt feeling is mudita — that’s what the SMOOCH! Project is all about,” Fournier said. “Every time I see that photo, I think ‘Barb loves me.’”
Kissing couples become a part of the SMOOCH! Project and have the opportunity to directly experience the universal joy shared by all humans when receiving affection from someone who loves them, Fournier said.
“It’s important to be happy; everyone wants to be happy.” Fournier said.
Pictures feature kisses between family and friends, but aren’t limited to human love, as pets are allowed as well, Fournier said.
The SMOOCH! Project’s next stop is Detroit, which Fournier decided was an necessary stop after reading an article about the shooting and death of 7-year-old Aiyana Stanley Jones during a police raid.
“Images in the SMOOCH! Project could help calm the violence,” Fournier said. “I contacted the Dream Volunteers (and said), ‘We have to get to Detroit ASAP. We need to get to Detroit.”
The SMOOCH! Project also plans to travel internationally to places such as South Africa, Israel and Northern Ireland, Fournier said.
“It seemed like a great project,” East Lansing resident Judith Bridger said. “It can show how all kinds of people are just people. We’re so much the same.”
